by R. Welch
for
Judy
ONE:
The
storm had been raging for two days. A neighbor had taken Annie and
the girls out during a lull in the previous day's deluge and they had
returned with tales of fallen trees, flooded roads and boats ripped
from their moorings, one of which had been deposited in the middle of
Shore Drive, blocking traffic in all directions. "Its like a
battle..."Annie said, drifting off mid sentence. "It's a
battle...a war..." She faltered again.
"Are
you trying to say its like a war zone?" Adam asked, and Annie
nodded, visibly relieved as her fingers touched the row of stitches
over her left ear.
The
remnants of a Nor'easter was battering the north shore of
Massachusetts, with hurricane force winds, astronomically high tides
and horizontal rain, streaking across the glass as Adam watched from
their upstairs bedroom window. Despite the weatherman's assurances
that the stalled storm system was finally moving out to sea, the
winds appeared to be escalating again, bringing back the torrential
rains. Annie and the girls remained huddled in the bed behind him
where they'd all watched the non stop storm coverage until the
electricity had cut off a few hours before, abandoning them to the
roaring dark. The street below was a paved river that gushed against
the oak tree at the end of the driveway where its roots had heaved
the sidewalk. From the bedroom dormer, it looked like the corner of
lawn nearest the oak had washed away. It was hard to tell.
Chloe
crawled into Annie's lap, deliberately displacing her 3 year old
sister while trying not to disturb the bandage that wrapped her
mother's head. "Mommy, is our house gonna blow 'way?"
Chloe asked.
Lily
watched her mother's reaction to her big sister's question, chewing
nervously on her thumb. "Chloe said we're gonna go to Oz Mumma"
she said, popping her thumb out of her mouth. "I don't wanna go
to Oz Mumma!" Annie smiled and shook her head slowly. She
rested her cheek on the top of Chloe's head and reached for Lily with
her good arm. "We'll be - okay," she said. "Daddy'll
keep us safe."
Adam
sighed as he listened to Annie struggle to speak. It came and went,
like the wind. Sometimes she was perfectly lucid, and other times
she couldn't find the most basic word. Doctor Black had said she
would become "less like herself." Listening to Annie
struggle for a word seemed about as unlike herself as she could get.
Adam sighed and returned his attention to the window. Concentrating
on the drama outside was preferable.
Even
in the darkness, Adam could see the damage would be extensive. The
maple in the back yard had already fallen, and a section of the
Nilson's new stockade fence floated down the middle of Forest Avenue
with its length of copper downspout standing perpendicular, like the
broken mast of an abandoned raft. Adam could see a strange
fluttering at the corner of his roof that suggested the imminent loss
of shingles when a sudden pelting of rain streaked across the window
and distorted his view.
The
giant oak at the end of his driveway, whose roots the gush of water
had exposed, appeared to be leaning and Adam pictured it crashing
through the ceiling plaster and raining the attic contents down on
their heads. His daughters huddled with Annie, their backs pressed
against the headboard as they watched him pace. It felt as though he
held their heartbeats in his hands.
He
moved toward the computer, thinking he would look up their insurance
agent's number when he remembered that without some juice, it was
little more than an expensive piece of junk. He'd been doing that
for hours, lurching from stereo to microwave to telephone. Fucking
electricity! It was amazing how dependent they were on things he
barely understood. Even the beam of the flashlight seemed
miraculous.
Should
they retreat to the basement? Was that what people did when a storm
threatened to take the house or would that just mean they'd be buried
in the ruins? Staying where they were seemed foolish. The basement
seemed equally so. Even if the house survived, the basement was
likely to be full of water, now that the electricity had killed the
sump pump. What if there was a live wire sparking in the water?
They'd all fry.
Another
gust of wind shook the house and he met Annie's worried expression
with one of his own, shrugging silently at her raised eyebrows when a
nuclear flash of light silhouetted the contents of the room, turning
night to day and back to night in an blinding instant. A clap of
thunder sounded immediately, with a huge ripping sound directly over
their heads. It felt like the roof was coming off. For one
terrifying moment Adam thought he could feel the floor moving beneath
his bare feet and wondered if the house had been bucked off its
foundation. His children were whimpering in the dark. He didn't
know how to protect them and felt a kind of shame burn his skin.
"What
do you think?" Annie asked over the heads of the girls and Adam
tamped down an annoyance that threatened to surge into panic, fueled
by the anxiety the storm had produced.
"I
don't know!" he answered, knowing he'd spoken too quickly and in
a tone she'd done nothing to deserve. Annie was always presenting
him with situations he had no idea how to resolve! The Volvo's
engine light was on again. The refrigerator was making a strange
noise. The light switch in the bathroom didn't work. His response
was always the same. "That's why God created the yellow pages,"
he'd say. His lack of handiness had achieved legendary status and
tales of his ineptitude were told and retold at neighborhood
barbecues. There seemed to be a litany of things that required tools
he didn't own and skills he didn't possess and, conveniently, had no
interest in acquiring. And now, Annie was sick. Adam's teeth ached
from clenching his jaw ever since the ER doctor had read them the
radiology report. Everyone knew how this was going to end, and no
one could bear to say it out loud. He wondered if the yellow pages
would have anything to offer regarding a grade 4 glioblastoma.
Doubtful.
"Maybe
we should
go down to the basement," Adam said. Even in the darkened room
he could see Chloe's eyes widen. Chloe hadn't been down there since
she'd encountered a spider in her dollhouse and the can of RAID her
father emptied had failed to reassure her. He stopped now and took
her face in his hands. "Don't worry sweetheart!" he told
her. "It'll be a lot less noisy in the basement, and we don't
like all this noise."
"I'm
bringing Brady!" Lily announced, referring to her new kitten.
"Definitely,"
Adam said. "Brady needs to come too."
The
kitten had been under the bed for 2 days. Maybe that's
what they should do. Maybe Kitty knew best.
As he
pondered following the cat's example, there was a deafening crash
from downstairs, followed by another and another, as if someone, or
something, was pounding on the front door. Had the storm torn
something loose? They heard a splintering of wood, that sounded
right outside the closed bedroom door. The girls screamed again and
clutched their mother as Adam went to investigate.
It was
immediately clear that something significant had happened. The hall
was at least 20 degrees colder and the storm many times louder the
moment he opened the bedroom door. Adam stood on the 2nd floor
landing, aiming the flashlight's weak beam toward the bottom of the
stairs but it only made the darkness visible and did nothing to
illuminate its depths. He took a few tentative steps down, squinting
in the dark when another flash of lightning revealed the front door
had blown open. There was a hole in the plaster where the doorknob
had smashed into the wall. The door itself, its splintered hinges
intact, was lying on its side against the arch leading into their
living room. Rain spattered across the oak floor as the wind tried
to lift the big watercolor of Swampscott Harbor off the wall.
Adam
stepped back in shock and almost tripped over Lily directly behind
him when he heard the shuffle of footsteps from the base of the
stairs, suddenly audible between claps of thunder. Adam froze,
frowning in the dark. He wondered if the water color was about to
crash to the floor and waited for the sound of breaking glass. It
did not come. Scooping Lily in his arms, he returned to the bedroom.
"The
storm blew the front door right off its hinges!" Adam
explained, amazed, as he dropped Lily back onto the bed. "I've
gotta see if I can get it back up somehow. The rain and wind is
pouring in. You guys stay up here for now, okay?"
Pausing
at the top of the stairs, he became aware that Lily was at his heels
again. "Honey! C'mon now. You're gonna get your slippers all
wet! Go stay with Mommy and Chloe now, okay?" The little girl
shook her head frantically back and forth, in a motion that made her
father wince. Adam knew he perceived her as more vulnerable than she
in fact was, with anxieties that seemed to mirror his own. It was
always difficult for him to deny her - a tendency she had, at the age
of 3, already apprehended and was learning to use to her advantage.
"I'm scared Daddy!" she whimpered. "Wanna stay with
you!"
There
wasn't time to argue. He directed her to a step 3 or 4 down from the
upper landing. "You can watch from here, but no further, okay?
I don't want you to get your feet wet and there are splinters of wood
everywhere." Lily took her place on the designated step and
clutched the banister's spindles as she watched her father slowly
descend to the foyer.
The
wind and rain soaked his clothing instantly. He had to jump over the
fallen door in order to lift it back into the damaged frame. A
splinter of wood pierced his palm as he hoisted the door and the
sudden pain caused him to drop it with a bang on his bare foot. He
cursed loudly. Lily ran up the stairs and Adam heard her excitedly
announce "Daddy said shit!" before returning to the
staircase, 2 or 3 steps lower than the one her father had indicated.
The
door appeared to have pivoted as it tore from its frame and now
rested on its opposite side but the layout of the foyer left little
room for orienting it back into the frame, let alone rotating it so
the knob would be on the proper side, and after much struggling and
more cursing he was forced to return it to its place with the
exterior side turned inward. It hardly mattered. The displaced
hinges had ripped out half the molding, leaving the door standing
loose in its frame and vulnerable to another gust of wind. Rain
continued to pelt him through the gaps in the wall as Adam leaned
against the door, using his weight to hold it in place while trying
to think what to do. A hammer and nails would be needed to insure it
did not fall again, but in his
house the odds of finding either, let alone both, were unlikely.
A
flash of lightning raised unfamiliar shadows in the living room. And
then he heard it again, a creaking of the floor, as if someone was
moving nearer. What
was that? He felt
the hairs on his arms lift as he tried to listen over the storm until
the wind redirected his attention to the door, pressing against his
back. He reached for the telephone table with his foot and used it
to brace the door while he retrieved a dining room chair to wedge
beneath the bent knob. He stepped back to observe the damage. Maybe
Annie would know where the toolbox might be. He depended on her for
things like that and and felt a grim despair at knowing those days
were probably gone for good.
He was
about to tell Lily to run and ask Mommy if she knew where to find a
hammer when he noticed a crack in the door's center panel. Frowning
and perplexed, Adam bent at the waist, holding the flashlight inches
from the door as he traced the crack with his finger. It looked like
something had struck the door with great force. There was a black
smudge with a tread like pattern along its upper edge that blurred
into a downward smear. He considered and rejected a series of
explanations as he slowly straightened. Had a free rolling tire
jumped the curb and rolled up the walk to smash into his front door?
It was the least preposterous explanation he could come up with on
short notice. He bent to look again.
There
was another smudge slightly to the left of the first, like a double
exposure, and a third to its right, far more clearly defined than the
other two, revealing what appeared to be a toe and a heel. He jerked
upright, his heartbeat suddenly audible in his ears. The storm
hadn't blown down the door. Someone had kicked it in.
He
felt a chill course through his body, marrow deep. Someone was in
the living room. Right now. Right behind him, breathing in the
dark. In one terrible instant he understood the series of bangs
they'd heard, and the footsteps and the strange, angular shadow he'd
only peripherally noticed when he'd crouched to lift the door. The
floor creaked again.
At the
instant Adam turned to look, the lightning flashed and something
lunged from the shadows of the bookcase. He hadn't realized Chloe
had joined Lily on the steps until he heard them both scream. Adam
tried to tell them to run; to hide - but couldn't find his voice.
It was
too late. The walls had been breached. He felt the disembodied howl
tear from his throat before he heard the sound it made.
TWO:
Adam
had never seen rain like this. It fell perpendicular to the ground
with a tremendous, ricocheting force. There did not appear to be any
individual drops, just a solid sheet of water pouring from the sky in
a steady gush.
A
vague anxiety nested in the cavity it had carved into his chest.
Where were
they? Annie had taken the girls to Whole Foods and Adam considered
driving over to see if he could find them. The changes in Annie's
motor skills were so incremental, it was easy not to notice until
something happened that brought them into stark relief. She'd
dropped and broken two coffee mugs that morning, one right after
another, and was reaching for a third when Adam found her standing
barefoot in the kitchen, surrounded by the broken mugs littering the
new tile floor. It had been part of a renovation project they'd
started and then abandoned when Annie was diagnosed. Five thousand
dollars worth of architectural plans were rolled up in a corner of
the dining room, diagramming an addition that would never be built.
He
should have done the shopping. If she couldn't hold a coffee mug,
how could he have possibly let her take the car? Given that the
store was only a half mile away, if even, it had seemed a reasonable
risk at the time, but now this rain mocked him Even worse. It made
him stupid.
He
glanced at his watch and noted 3 minutes had passed since the last
time he'd looked. He tried to take a calming breath, but couldn't
fill his lungs. Why
weren't they home yet?
He
shouldn't have let Chloe and Lily go with her. He considered again
driving to the store and worried over how that would look to the
girls. He'd taken them with him to Photographics last week and on
the way home Lily asked, point blank and out of the blue if her mommy
was going to die...with Chloe wide eyed in the seat beside her. He'd
told as much truth as any of them could bear. "Some people with
Mommy's illness have died - " and both girls had started to
wail. He had to pull the car off the road and get into the back to
try and calm them. "I don't want
Mommy to die!" Lily shrieked as Adam tried to reassure her, but
her indignation broke his heart. Everything did. It was astonishing
how many times the heart could break over the same thing, into
smaller and smaller pieces. Soon, there'd be nothing but dust.
The
scene in the car had provided quite enough drama for one week.
They'd been clinging to their mother ever since, and had begged to go
shopping with her. Having Daddy show up in the aisles of Whole Foods
would surely set off their alarms again. He was loathe to do it.
He
went to the dining room window facing Forest Avenue. The street was
a river and probably impassable at this point. He wouldn't be able
to get to the store anymore than they could get back. He cursed and
his breath clouded the window pane. An enormous branch swept down
the street and crashed into the oak tree at the end of his driveway,
creating a flare of water until it was pulled back into the current
and disappeared. He couldn't believe his eyes. The world was
washing away and his family was out there, caught in its wake.
There
was a sudden lurching that nearly knocked Adam to the floor. A
cracking sound, deep and profound seemed to come from inside the
walls. Adam gripped the window frame as a vibration moved through
the floor, opening gaps between the bleached oak slats and rattling
the teacups hanging in the china cabinet. He felt the molding move
beneath his hands and watched, hypnotized, as the foundation, with a
wrenching screech, slid from under the house and drifted across the
muddy pool that had been his front yard. The house dropped several
feet as the walls exploded in clouds of plaster dust and the
chandelier tore from its mounting and hit the table with a tremendous
crash. Adam watched helplessly as the foundation pivoted into the
rushing water where it broke into pieces and disappeared. The window
shattered in his face and there was a sensation of a great weight
pressing on his shoulders, as if they were the only thing between him
and the collapse of everything he knew.
THREE:
Would
the rain ever
stop? When they bought the house in the little town by the ocean,
Adam had joked that the hill it sat upon would keep them safe from
any rogue tsunamis, but now he worried the non stop rain would send
them tumbling to the sea. Jesus! His windshield wipers could barely
keep up as he wound through the Olmstead district to Lily's baby
sitter's house. It used to be Annie's job to pick her up at the end
of the day, but she couldn't drive anymore. She'd refused to
surrender her keys after the seizure in the parking lot of Best Buy.
They'd argued about it. But when she broke her arm in a fall down
the stairs, it settled the matter. Lily had frowned when Adam picked
her up at Suzanne's that afternoon and listened gravely as he tried
to prepare her for another bandage. "You can use your new
markers and draw flowers on her cast!" he'd said. She hadn't
asked any questions and stared out the window from her car seat as
they drove home. She was dead weight as he carried her across the
yard. They paused at the door and Adam pressed his lips to her ear.
He had to say it. It was irresistible. "I'll always take care
of you my Lily," he whispered, and she started to cry. Lily
knew a lie when she heard one.
Adam
had altered his hours at work until they could figure out a different
arrangement. The battery in the Volvo was already dead from sitting
idle while Annie drifted toward the horizon of their lives.
Suzanne
lived in a colonial at the top of a long drop towards the sea, her
house crowning the crest of the street. Its porch steps ended in
front of the graveled half moon she'd carved from her yard, allowing
visitors to pull in and out without reversing from an otherwise blind
driveway. Adam parked a few yards from the base of the steps and
noted that just walking around the car to the shelter of her porch
would leave him drenched. He released his seat belt and considered
his options. Exiting the passenger door would save him a few steps.
It wasn't until after he'd crawled over the console that he saw he
could have pulled up another 6 feet or so and further reduced the
distance he had to dash through the rain. Shit! Rather than crawl
back, he slipped the car's stick shift into neutral and released the
hand brake in order to let the car roll forward a few feet. It only
took a second for him to understand he'd made a terrible mistake.
The
car didn't move forward in a slow roll, but lurched into motion, and
Adam realized he couldn't steer the wheel and work the brake from
where he sat. It bounced onto the rain slicked pavement of Walker
Road, driverless, as Adam tried to scramble back behind the wheel.
But the strap of his raincoat sleeve had caught on the handle of the
passenger door. He fought to free himself as the Accord picked up
speed.
He
tried maneuvering his leg over the console to reach the brake pedal
while holding the wheel with his left arm and struggling with his
right. The handbrake was no help and while he could steer the car
well enough, he could do nothing to slow the descent.
The
road ended in a 90 degree turn, just above the cliffs along Shore
Drive. Adam knew, without a doubt, he would not be able to make it
at this speed. He was going to hit the guardrail and there was a
moment of detachment as he considered the damage his car was about to
sustain. Every swipe of the windshield wipers brought the
intersection nearer and he braced for the impact to come.
Just
before the corner, the road dipped precipitously and with a
tremendous bump Adam felt the Accord become airborne. There was a
sudden silence as the tires left the pavement. He watched the
guardrail pass beneath him as the front of the car tilted into free
fall. The rocks rushing toward him were wet, and covered with black
seaweed.
FOUR:
Adam
turned off the radio and listened to the hiss of his tires in the
rain. The trip had been a horror show, navigating flooded highways
in torrential downpours. The last stretch he'd spent dodging rock slides and road closures, turning what should have been a 2 hour
drive into a 16 hour ordeal. But now, finally, he thought he could
see the glow of Boston in the distance. There was just a little more
to go and this nightmare would be over. He couldn't remember the
last time there'd been some blue in the sky.
A
river running alongside the highway had risen to the level of the
road and was starting to wash over the pavement in huge puddles. It
looked oily in the dark. Adam was exhausted and his arms ached from
gripping the steering wheel for so long. But finally, after hours of
gridlock and backtracking on alternate routes, he was moving fast
enough for his tires to raise some spray.
He was
desperate to get home. Annie was barely holding on. Dr. Wen had
said "days." Adam had promised the visiting nurse he'd be
back by noon, and now it was almost midnight. He was too tired to
remember what had happened. He'd left to run an errand and got lost.
All he knew now was that Chloe and Lily needed him.
His
vision blurred at the thought of their names. Protecting them had
become his obsession, but it could not be done and his failure had
made him complicit in the collateral damage that swamped them all.
He could shake his fists at the heavens for the rest of his life, and
probably would, but the heavens didn't give a shit. It was best not
to dwell on it too much. It made the nerves in the back of his neck
constrict and was generally unhelpful.
They'd
considered hospice. But Annie wanted to die in their home,
surrounded by the people and books she loved...in the hospital bed
they'd installed in the living room...draped with the antique quilt,
embroidered with butterflies that Lily had taken from her bed. Annie
could not walk or talk anymore. Adam took over at night, after the
nurses left. He fed her and carried her to the bathroom and slept on
the floor of the living room in the event she woke during the night.
"It won't be long," Dr. Wen had said to him. "Days."
He was amazed and appalled to find himself comforted.
In
fact, Adam had wanted Annie to go to the hospice. It seemed to him
the girls could not be exposed to any more. It was obscene. How
much could they be expected to endure? Hospice would give them a
gentler transition, and wouldn't include any more ambulances
screaming up the street and parking in their driveway. But the truth
was, her illness had gnawed the flesh from his bones. They'd been so
determined to fight this evil when it began, but it had beaten both
of them, stolen their happiness as it took Annie bit by bit and
forced them all to watch. He knew a part of him opened its arms to
welcome the inevitable with something that felt like relief.
The
car hydroplaned briefly where the river pooled on the pavement.
There was a tunnel ahead, carved into the New England granite, and
Adam welcomed the respite from the constant rain. Once out the other
side he'd just need to get across the causeway and he'd be home!
He
urged the car toward the dark maw of the tunnel and felt a peculiar
sensation of being swallowed as he entered. He could sense the
weight of the rock walls and roof enveloping him as he turned off the
windshield wipers. He was wishing for a cigarette when the
taillights of the cars in front of him flashed brightly, then held
steady. Not a good sign. Had there been an accident? Adam skidded
to a stop and exited the car, stepping into several inches of icy
water as traffic lined up behind him. There was no place to go! He
walked forward a few steps and felt the water rise to his ankles.
A huge
section of the highway had collapsed, leaving a deep hole in the
center of the road that made it impassible in either lane. A 5 inch
ledge of pavement still clung to the sides of the tunnel, but the
hole in the road was too deep to cross. You couldn't see the bottom
of it in the darkness. Adam joined a small crowd, splashing about
near its edge.
It was
immediately clear that the only way out would involve the coordinated
effort of an endless line of cars operating in reverse, stopped now
in two long rows, one behind the other. There wasn't going to be
time for that.
The
highway sagged beneath his feet and the rush of water nearly toppled
him. He began inching his way along the ledge of pavement, clinging
to the tunnel walls just above the chasm that had already filled to
its brim with a thick, churning water. When he reached the far side
of the collapse, the road turned upward, away from the flood. The
thunder seemed nearer than before and Adam moved towards it
instinctively, his fingers groping the tunnel walls as he inched
deeper and deeper into the dark. He immediately grew disoriented and
couldn't make sense of the sounds he heard. Was someone weeping?
There
was a strange rumble that grew deafeningly loud. It sounded like an
oncoming train. He clamped his eyes shut as a swirl of wind and dust
swept past him. He pressed his body against a shelf of rock as the
echoes of screaming faded in the distance. He decided to follow
them.
The
pitch of the road steepened abruptly. He blundered forward, his arms
outstretched and descended in a widening loop into the main tunnel
again. There was only a monochromatic expanse of gray mud as far as
he could see. The abandoned vehicles were covered with it from top
to bottom, surrounded by twisted mounds that looked like bodies. The
eerie silence was broken only by the sound of dripping water as he
floated forward, searching for his car. It was the only thing he
could think to do.
And
suddenly he knew it. Annie was dead. He knew it all at once and he
bent at the waist as it scorched through him. He couldn't breathe.
It felt as if he'd swallowed a sharp stone that turned in his throat,
embedding itself. It would leave a scar.
Annie...
He covered his mouth with both hands and fought a sob, certain if he
gave in to one there would be no end. He would do that later. It
would be sweet and welcome, but not now, not yet. First he needed to
get to Chloe and Lily.
Adam
thought he could see a light of some kind, pulsing against the night.
It didn't look like lightning. There was no flash, no flare. Just
a forlorn flickering in the distance. He began climbing over the
entombed cars like a bug, inching towards the mysterious gauze of
light that grew larger and clearer as he approached. Someone's house
was burning down.
FIVE:
It was
June, at last. Adam loved the beginning of summer - when the warm
weather was no longer a fluke and the promise of more to come
stretched ahead for months. He stood as the train pulled into the
station and gathered his things, following the line of commuters as
they shuffled off the train. He was slipping his book into his
backpack when he looked up and saw her, standing alone at the end of
the platform, waiting for him. Annie. She seemed completely unaware
that she had died 3 months before.
He
regarded her warily as he approached. Her hair no longer dulled and
brittle from the chemo; the scar over her ear vanished. She cupped
her elbow in one palm and tucked her chin into the other, waiting
patiently at the end of the platform until Adam reached her side.
And then she leaned into his arms, the stiffness in her spine
relenting to his tentative embrace. Adam's heart raced. They'd
stopped touching long before - one more thing the tumor had taken.
Neither of them could bear the tears their lovemaking triggered. It
had been a long time since he'd felt her body bend to his.
She
took his hand and led him from the station and they started to walk
home. Annie listened thoughtfully as Adam talked about the girls.
Chloe was going to try out for her 2nd grade soccer team and Lily
wanted a puppy that Adam had, so far, managed to postpone. With
every step they took, the reality of Annie's presence chipped away at
his disbelief. They'd bought a new couch he wanted her to see. The
house was a different color. There seemed so much she'd missed!
They'd
gone some distance before Adam noticed that Annie had yet to speak,
as if her voice had been the price she'd paid to meet him. It was
like the mermaid in Chloe's favorite video! He tried to remember
what it was that broke the spell and gave the mermaid back her voice,
but could not. Chloe would know. He tightened his grip on Annie's
hand. The girls would get her to speak. She'd never be able to
remain silent at the sight of them, and Chloe would remember what
they'd have to do to restore her mother's voice. A sense of urgency
swept through him, coursing over his shoulder down his arm and
through the hand she held.
She'd
taken a different way home and Adam didn't know where they were. The
more they walked, the more foreign everything seemed. At every bend
in the road he glanced nervously for something that might look
familiar but the light seemed different here. It was difficult to
see and he was afraid to let her know. Admitting it would just
confirm her deepest fears about him.
They
came to an intersection where several boulevards converged and
finally, he confessed. There didn't seem to be any other choice. A
bell tower sounded in the distance. He had a sudden sense that time
was running out. "I don't know how to do this Annie," he
said. "Forgive me. I'm so lost..." He threw out his hands
and watched in the fading light as she took them in hers again. Her
beautiful hands. Adam had always loved her hands, with their long
fingers and perfectly manicured nails. Annie had never allowed
herself any vanity, except for her nails. They were as delicate and
lovely as ever.
There
was a quickening; a suddenness that seemed to freight the air and
Adam knew she could come no further.
He felt
a familiar stab of guilt and grief as Annie knelt and tied his
shoelace, even as her image crumbled piece by piece, like a sand
castle left to tides.
They'd
been standing on a sidewalk that bordered a little park, where
couples strolled and mother's pushed their carriages. Adam sat
heavily on a bench and watched the sand scatter from the spot where
Annie had stood. The hand she'd held was flecked with mica that
glittered in the fading light. He rubbed it with his thumb. He
wasn't sure how long he'd sat until he looked up through a tangle of
branches and saw a perfect patch of filagree against the witness of
the moon.
Adam
took a deep, ragged breath and tasted salt on his tongue. The ocean.
He could smell it. He could hear it too. It sounded close. He
knew if he could find it, he could follow it home. He glanced at his
watch. Lily and Chloe would be waiting. There'd be a place along
the way he could stop and get them something for dinner. He walked
to the end of the block, and turned at the corner toward the sound of
the waves.
END
Your writing is amazing. Each of these dreams could be made into a book. The first dream I think is my favorite. There seemed to be more going on.
ReplyDeleteBut all of them were amazing. I don't know what else to say about them. Wow.
Amazing writing. I couldn't stop reading. I loved them all and agree each dream could lead us into a great short story or book. The water and storms are so symbolic of life. Really good writing.
ReplyDeleteRic honey, you are an exceptionally visionary writer. Your own pain is so easy to touch in this piece, and I thank you for sharing yourself with us. To describe your writing as "very touching" seems to almost cheapen the experience, so I won't go there. I am inspired, however, by your command of the metaphor, and at the powers of observation that bring these characters to life. Kudos, my dear friend. You're definitely on the road you dreamed of being on--already. I suspect you shed blood to create this piece, because it certainly drew blood to read. I love you.
ReplyDeleteExcellent writing. It grabs you and impels you to keep reading. It is always devastating when death enters your home, but one has to remember that life was there too. Keep following the waves.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading the one about your father, I went looking for more, and came upon this perfect gem. You have an eye for detail that is impeccable and your subtle use of metaphors is very powerful. Unlike many writers, you trust your reader to make the connections. The final dream, with the tying of the shoe laces and finding your way home...just brilliant. So moving and powerful.
ReplyDelete